Grandma's Pee Pee now available in Single Malt!

I suppose anything can be a commodity. In this case, it is Whiskey made from the urine of diabetics. It has plenty of sugar, so why not?
(via Boing Boing)

Alchoholic In-laws suck ass

So today, at a labor Day picnic, my drunk-ass alcoholic father-in-law decided to pick a fight with me.
We were a the dinner table, and he says "Someone should say grace." Then he looked at me with a smirk and says "How about you?"
I replied "No. I don't pray."
He came back with "Why?" and I said "Because I am an atheist. It would be hypocritical and disrespectful to the others for me to pray."
He starting in on me about being an atheist, talking about how he believed in Jesus and he was saved and he needed to make sure we know and just wouldn't let up. He kept challenging me, right there at the table, to defend my position. It finally got to the point, after I left the table, where his son had to get up and yell at him to cut it out. The whole time, sneering, drunk off his ass, and being a prick, he was lecturing me about being a Christian.
I do not think I will be attending any family functions where he is present from now on. What an asshole.

Colonoscopy Diary

I just had my first colonoscopy. I figured I could put my notes here so that if anyone was planning on having one, they could find some info.
The day before, I got to eat nothing. I could only have liquids. I did fairly well of Popsicles, decaf coffee with Splenda, and beef broth. However, I took the day easy and did not exert myself and I could tell that I had not eaten, but I was not starving.
I had to start the bowel prep liquid about 4 pm. It comes in a gallon jug with about an inch of white powder at the bottom. You add water and shake vigorously, and put in the fridge. I used the lemon flavoring that came with it. It doesn't taste terrible, but it is not tasty by any means. You have to drink a class every fifteen minutes for 2 hours.
About an hour into the prep mixture you start having bowel movements. If you have ever had bad diarrhea, it is about like that. I went to the toilet about every ten minutes for a couple of hours. Be sure to "dab", don't "wipe" or your butt will get irritated. After a while I was passing mostly liquid.
The next morning, I finished the solution, and could not eat or drink anything other than a little water to keep from getting cottonmouth. I went to the doctor at 1:30 pm, and I was hungry and grumpy.
At the hospital, the put in an IV, and had me undress and wear one of those fashionable gowns. Once was in the colonoscopy room, they checked my ID about five times and started giving me sedation. I dozed a bit, but awoke a few times during the procedure to watch the screen. I saw them remove the one polyp that existed and then it was over. There was a little discomfort, but it was not bad. I would say it was like having bad gas, unpleasant but not terrible.
When I got home, I fell asleep on the couch for about three hours and then ate a whole bunch of food because I was hungry.
Overall, the colonoscopy was an inconvenience, but nothing to fear.

My review of The Bible

I won a contest over at Friendly Atheist for this review of The Bible.

Random Press’s latest release, “The Holy Bible”($29.95), is not worth your time. The book is a mishmash of ancient myths thrown together in a barely coherent attempt to form some sort of narrative. The author, who remains nameless, has decided to attempt to write an epistemological novel, similar to Brahm Stoker’s “Dracula”, in that it is made up of letters and other writings from people in the fictional world. This worked for Stoker, but here, it is chaos.

It is no wonder the author published anonymously. The book desperately needs an editor, as it seems like, at times, like a first draft. The narrative is sketchy and full of plot holes. The author has repeated the same story several times with different details, and overall, has failed to get his point across to the audience.This is one of the downfalls of the modern digital publishing age where anyone can produce a book.

In truth, it seems he author has tried to do for “The Lord of the Rings” what “Wicked” did for the “Wizard of Oz”. The book makes the most sense when read as the story of Sauron from his followers’ point of view. His constant commands in the early part of the novel to invade and wipe out all those who are not his chosen, his appearances in different forms (from human-like to a flaming shrub) and his insistence on ignorance and obedience in his followers matches perfectly with the dark lord of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth. The names have been changed, I’m sure, because Tolkien’s estate would have never granted publishing rights to this hack. Where Tolkien created a consistent and massive back-story for his novels, the author here has not gone through the trouble. I doubt this book will ever be taken seriously, and will slip into obscurity soon.
If you like this sort of writing, I would recommend The Silmarillion over this any day. Tolkien’s deities are kind-hearted and just, if a bit naive, and the creation story is a lovely symphony, not the lazy “Fiat Lux” that begins this waste of paper and ink. Even last year’s “Quran” is a more coherent read.
1.5 stars.

Hitler must have been an atheist!

Where else would he have gotten his evil ideas? Certainly not from any Christian writers. Oh wait!

From 'On the Jews and Their Lies" by Martin Luther (father of the protestant reformation and the Lutheran Church) found here.

What shall we Christians do with this rejected and condemned people, the Jews?...
First, to set fire to their synagogues or schools and to bury and cover with dirt whatever will not burn, so that no man will ever again see a stone or cinder of them...
Second, I advise that their houses also be razed and destroyed...
Third, I advise that all their prayer books and Talmudic writings, in which such idolatry, lies, cursing, and blasphemy are taught, be taken from them...
Fourth, I advise that their rabbis be forbidden to teach henceforth on pain of loss of life and limb...
Fifth, I advise that safe-conduct on the highways be abolished completely for the Jews...

I guess Hitler had to have been an atheist to have such ideas. No Christian would ever suggest that Jews were subhuman or evil or should be mistreated.
The book is basically an invective about Jews and how they are evil, lying, blaspheming, etc...
These are just the quotes where he suggests actions.

My brother is a genius...

My brother Bubba is a genius.
Well, his name is Billy, but we all call him Bubba.
I found that I was missing a wheel stud from each rear wheel of my car. To do this, you need to pull off the brake drums. After 2 hours of cursing and sweating, I had the first one off and the new stud installed.
I could not get the drum back on. No drum, no wheel. No wheel, no driving.
So I called my brother.
He said one thing, "Take off the emergency brake."
The second one took 15 minutes.
He is a genius.
Did I mention he invented this?

Musical Awesomeness

So, I went to high school with the guy, Eric Whitacre. He did something really cool. It is a virtual choir singing one of his compositions. Check it out.